And that brings me all the way back to the beginning of this blog... and my reason for creating it in the first place.
This is me. Simply me...just thinking and wondering. Most likely it will be while tucked away in the quiet of my home office. I am trying to become more authentically who God has made me to be. I am becomING-- emphasis on "ing"--one that is actively on the journey but not quite finished or completed. We are all a work in progress--and I am no exception. Learning to be patient with the process, well...that is a journey within the journey.On the Sunday afternoon after I preached, I took time to reflect and posted this on Facebook.
Achieved a lifetime dream today... preached on Esther 3-4. Just saying I "preached" is a mind blowing concept still...and so thankful for those who have opened those doors, and have both challenged and encouraged me to say yes. AND to have been able to share truths from the incredible book of Esther makes it all the more amazing. And THEN the bonus was special community time before/afterwards that was encouraging, and so fun to continue to discuss together and process.
After a much needed nap for this functional introvert, I am waking to the feeling of a full heart and amazement of our God who loves us and shows us more to our story-- day by day, day by day.It simply blows my mind how God does indeed bring us along day by day. I can look back to the earlier version of me--someone who had limited bible knowledge and had zero teaching experience. I can look back and see how much fear I had, and how I didn't believe a woman could preach or be a leader in the church. I acknowledge that I am not a trained "preacher". Yes, I am a seminary graduate and also a doctoral student... but I didn't actually have to take any official preaching classes. I have read books and had mentors, but I feel that, at best, I fumble along as I give my meager offering to God and try to let go of the outcome. I try to openly share and let God determine what happens to it after that. It is priceless how each time we say "yes" to God, we grow and find more to our story.
Once I said preaching a sermon felt like a pregnancy as you spend time intentionally preparing, going through the growing and stretching process, and then preparing for the special day of delivery. But after you share the message or give birth to it, the "baby" goes on to live without you. This time of preaching felt like I had given birth to a litter of pups, and they went on to live in different ways as others processed with me what they heard and how it resonated with them. There was a wide variety of topics and responses. The "pups" were running everywhere!
I very much enjoy the conversations that come out of teaching times. Sometimes the discussions are about things that are agreed upon. Sometimes it is an affirmation of common experiences or thoughts. Sometimes I learn so much as I listen to what someone shares with me from their personal experience--what they think or have learned in life and faith. Sometimes the discussions are about things that are disagreed on, but that is beautiful too as there isn't argument--but we are each provoked to additional processing and deeper thought. All of the discussion helps me continue to learn... and for that I am very grateful.
It is also incredibly humbling how others come alongside us to encourage us, help us see our gifting, and challenge us to use those gifts. It has been a HUGE gift how many special people have shared of their own time, effort, hearts, and experience to reach out to extend a hand to me. They have used their positions to grant me access to stand in front of their congregations or groups to share. This is gift-- all gift, as without others to open doors I would never be where I am today. It gives me such hope and motivates me to offer a hand to others as I am able. Together we are a link of people extending hands to each other-- an unbreakable chain of hope.
I am thankful for those who have been Mordecai's in my life (as referenced in my Esther sermon)-- who challenged AND encouraged. Those who didn't let me take myself out of the game when I got overwhelmed, scared, made adjustments due to illness, or faced roadblocks. I appreciate the community of God's people who I have been blessed to walk the faith journey beside-- in different states and denominations. And I am excited to continue to walk the faith journey into the days, weeks, months, years and eternity we will have to continue to live together into God's love for us.
To LIVE... that is the journey. To fully LIVE in the LOVE of the Triune God is the goal. We open to receive that LOVE and then let it naturally overflow into the lives of others.
Bless you this week-- may you find freedom, courage, and your place in community as you learn to LIVE into your own "Such a Time as This" moments. May you open to God's love for you and extend that love to others.
And if I can challenge or encourage you in any way-- let me know. ;)
Kryzta-- this blogpost is dedicated to you... who encouraged me to continue to write my blog. Bless you friend.
